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Be mindful of this as you speak with potential counselors, because you don’t want to find yourself in a situation in which one side or the other is advocated and the remaining partner is expected to do all the adapting. Permission to publish granted by Sarah Swenson, MA, LMHC, therapist in Seattle, Washington The preceding article was solely written by the author named above.

Finally, I would like to point out that in my clinical experience, nearly every individual I have met with AS/FHA experiences constant anxiety often coupled with depression, due to the complex demands of coping with a world that seems as inscrutable to them as the world of the person with AS/HFA may seem to be to you. Remember that bridges can be built between you and your spouse with the help of a talented counselor who understands what lies on both sides. Any views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by Good

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Tony Attwood is an Australia-based clinical psychologist who has made the study of AS/HFA his life’s work.I recommend his works for anyone setting out on the path of understanding this diagnosis.Questions or concerns about the preceding article can be directed to the author or posted as a comment below.Good is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, medical treatment, or therapy.Now I’d like to return to the first point regarding your anxiety.

It is important to acknowledge your anxiety and frustration so that you don’t fall into the trap of assigning blame where there is none, neither on your spouse’s part nor on your own.

His difficulty managing his thoughts made rudimentary conversations minefields to be navigated.

And navigate he did, dodging social errors with the same fright and determination one might actually dodge mines. He truly did not fit the criteria for Asperger Syndrome.

But your spouse is not setting out to confound you, regardless of how frustrating conversational and situational conflicts may feel to you.

Educating yourself about AS/HFA is an excellent place to start. You can learn about the difficulties your spouse has faced his/her entire life in trying to figure out social protocols and nonverbal cues for meaning in interpersonal communication.

If it is clear to you and to your partner that this is not a mental illness, you will be able to manage it more readily.